Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
