You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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