i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
