I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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