Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
