i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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