When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
