Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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