Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Fuck appropriateness.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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