Ambien. No doubt about it.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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