Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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