The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
