I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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