I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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