Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
