But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
