new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
