sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
