Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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