do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
