The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
