I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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