walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
