I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
