why didn't you poke me back
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
