He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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