I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
