I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
