do herpes really smell.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
