Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
