I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
