Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
