We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
