I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
