we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
