oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
