so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
