your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
