So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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