1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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