Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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