11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
