I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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