I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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