Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
