Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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