hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
