he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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