I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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