i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
