I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
