And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The best revenge is premature balding
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
