he thought i was a dude.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
